Skip to main content

Kayden 1500/1

A blackboard outside a palace
familiar names and odds and
a steady queue of punters
backing Alice, Arthur, Mary

a few, more sporting
risk Diana at 14/1, short odds
to my mind, as I pull out a fiver
what price on Crystal?

The bookie, carefully blank
offers me 2000/1
I think again. Rihanna? Jayden?
the same number offered you're

not showing much imagination
I say, offer 10,000, get the
punters in, make them feel
part of it it's

the People's foetus, after all
and you're giving me
Victoria, Elizabeth, Frederick
I mean, Frederick?

At sixteens? You're having a laugh
unless it's
some subconscious hankering
for Saxe - Coburg - Gotha

doesn't seem likely to
be honest, I mean they've
dropped primogeniture
hardly likely to go back to the Vaterland

this is a forward looking
monarchy equipped for a new
world, broad sunlit etc
cheer up, we'll all be fine

I thought we wouldn't
for a bit but this kid's
a commodity, a valuable one
everyone's smiling again, look at them

So I'll have a fiver on Nigel
in a sense, we all have
no, don't give me the odds
it'll be a lovely surprise

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The School Run

I've got two humans in tow, differently-sized each a parcel of traits and possibilities likes and fears one wants to be an artist one wants to be a superhero both wrapped up  against the first cold day of Autumn A clean moon in a washed sky the novelty of breath and we stand and wait at the side of the road  for the tide of one tonne metal boxes towering over the littlest's head each carrying one person to belch and fart past us, inches away a seemingly endless stream of personal choice dreams of individual freedom as an act of collective madness doing their bit for the two humans' future

Up in smoke

"I observe that the Prime Minister has decided that in future, smoking will be banned" said Cornelius, looking over his dead legacy media artefact whilst indulging in a cheroot of vulgar length. I entertained private thoughts about the wisdom of having a heat source so close to a flammable object, but refrained from voicing them. "That is within his purview" I replied, primly. "And one could make the argument that, libertarian concerns aside, it's not the worst idea he's had" "Indeed not" replied my friend, who had now swapped his cheroot for an indecently large Meerschaum Pipe of the classic Sherlock Holmes style (the proper one in Black and White, none of this modern nonsense where they repress their homoeroticism in the Tate Gallery or somesuch before eating hummus) "For he has had at least four truly terrible ideas this week alone  The man's an arse." "Indeed he is" I replied, "and one could furthermore ma...

Pounds and ounces

Bushels and pecks and barleycorns a glorious inheritance chains, leagues, gills the tides of history the great rolling mass of history, our reclaimed birthright one holds back a tear while ordering a quarter of humbugs for everything is quantifiably British now, we can measure our waiting lists in leagues, count our dead by the hundredweight observe the roods of sleeping bags and cardboard the queue at the food bank is ten perches long (or ten rods, if you prefer, either way, it's 250 links) two gallons to the peck of tears four to the half bushel emphasise the Imperial ahead of the measurement, and why stop there? why not count the flow of money in florins settling gently on the floors of offshore counting-houses Universal Credit, reduced by guineas but a thrupennny bit for nurses, be grateful have a shilling, console yourself that even if there's no food on the shelves at least we can measure nothing in ounces