Rapid Response

 They've declared a war on woke rather than a war on everybody dying it's a matter of priorities you'd deny our statues their rights you liberal elite libtard you'd lock them away and  rewrite their histories so much for the compassionate left They've declared a war on wok rather than count the stacks of bodies you snowflakes and your woks what's wrong with good British turnips and rain-water they won us a war They've declared a war on Wicks look at him there making children exercise they'll never lose weight that way send them half a pepper They've declared a war on wank why do it yourself? that's what interns are for and they'll never make the charges stick They've declared a war on work Just kidding You're doing that until the day you die

 The ad read: Spoon operative. NMW compliant.0-45 hour p/w And I didn't have much else to be getting on with, so I applied. They led me into a long shed, lit by strip-lights. To my left was a pile of tins of tuna, to my right a big dish full of the sort of bags you can get change from the bank in. A conveyer belt rumbled squeakily in front of me, and there. just in front of it, in its own dish, was the spoon. I was, I was told, responsible for the spoon. If I lost, or damaged the spoon, in any way, I was financially liable. I discovered over time that this was only true up to the point. Many of my fellow tuna spooners, I learned, had customised their spoons. Some had had little motivational slogans engraved on the handle, like "one spoon at at time" or "do it for the kids". Others, the older, more battle-hardened tuna spooners, the ones who spoke little, and smiled less, had filed their handles to sharp points to make shivs, the better defend their pile of littl...

 Elizabeth wasn't happy with her treatment at the revolution. Gassed tears streaming "They pushed me back, I just got a foot in  and they maced me" delivered straight to camera unerringly what rough citizen journalists, their hour come at last, slouch towards Capitol Hill to be born? She was straight with the details Elizabeth, from Knoxville starting a revolution rating her treatment one -bubble on TripAdvisor she didn't even get to the gift shops and all revolutions will be televised, even  the rubbish ones, the failures the dignity free barrel-scraping ones the stupid ones the conspiratorial ones all playing out on a billion phones as if they were equivalent as if Elizabeth matters